Thoughts

I was in love! I was so in love... I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone else in the world. I did everything I could to keep you happy! It came to the point where I was so unhappy, but I stayed because I loved you so much. I would have done anything to spend the rest of my life with you even though I was so unhappy.

I started to have feelings for someone else, and because of my unhappiness I decided it was time to leave and I thought it unfair that I had thoughts of another person while I was with you. Though you never thought it fair to care for me or deal with any problems that came up. You thought it was ok to lie to me, and though I only knew for sure about one lie, I know deep down there were more.

So i met someone else, someone I have once again fell in love with. But as luck would have it, I am unwanted. They claim they are not ready to commit, though its quite funny every so often someone new pops into their life and they seem to be ready to be with that person. I told you once how I felt, and from then on I have dropped no hints that these feelings still exist. I play as though I do not care about you. I have become able to play pretend. I can hide my feelings from the world.

You have once again unknowingly hurt me. I should learn, I should know better. But you can not help you love. So I will continue being hurt until the day that I can leave and have no rememberance of you. I hate caring, I hate pretending, I hate you for being so fun and perfect in my eyes.